Conditional Acceptance
by AmarillosAmpharos
Summary: Sometimes the judgement of others can affect our lives in ways we feel are out-dated and absurd. So Heiji finds out, yet, how will he explain the situation to the man he loves?


Heiji stood in front of his superiors desk as his hearing seemed to fade into white noise, a constant ringing in his ears as his mind, desperately tried to process the situation. He was being fired, fired from a line of work he d been the number one at, for over 5 years. That wasn t the worst of it, a far cry from the worst part, it was because he was gay.

He looked at the photos that had been take in secret not far from his and Shinichi s little home on the out skirts of town. It was their morning kiss good bye, before departing their separate ways to work. He stared at the pictures, he could vaguely hear his boss talking, but none of it was even coherent. Shock washed over him like cold water, and soon followed was a vulnerable feeling of invasion, like something precious was stolen in secret. He picked up the photo softly, his boss had stopped talking and was staring at him wondering why he hadn t said anything since he d shown him the photos.

Heiji touched the front of the photo, he remembered the day, it was a little cloudy out, just before raining. He d forgotten his umbrella that day, Shinichi how ever, looked more handsome than ever. This suit was brand new, and settled on him like a glove, as if the gods had fashioned that suit and that color just for his beloved. It was a beautiful sight to take with him before the grueling work day, a sweet memento to hold him through.

He felt his heart sink, their expressions, their kiss, their privacy...invaded by prying eyes who s intent was to judge left him sad beyond words. He put the photo down, and looked at his boss who he d come to respect and admire, piled onto the mix bag of his emotions, disappointment was added. He nodded softly, taking a lingering look at the photo and looked at his boss steeling himself suddenly.

"I understand...you ve passed judgement on me already, but that s okay, it s your loss not mine"

He turned on his heel and walked from the office, never faltering in his step. He walked to his desk and took, what little personal belongings he cared about. Before stepping from the building he turned and gave a final bow. He slipped from the office and started on his walk home, and felt the first of his tears escape, he wiped them in anger.

He hated how his boss had looked past all his hard work and effort, and judged him so readily, that fact, mixed with his disappointment was crushing. Yet that was all trivial in his mind, what hurt the most is that someone had invaded his, no, their privacy, and their love and stamped it as unacceptable. He felt soiled, like someone had reached into his chest and touched everything that was most precious to him with filthy fingers.

He squeezed his eyes shut, how would be explain to Shinichi about what happened, how would he tell his lover that it was their love that was the catalyst that unemployed him. He walked dazed, the streets, the people, all a blur as his mind raced to come up with a solution. He eventually stopped and stood at the side of the cross walk staring at the other side, he suddenly felt very lost and helpless.

He noticed the light turn green and stepped out onto the pavement, somehow the noise of the busy city was deafening, as if preventing him from thinking. He stopped when he saw the place where Shinichi worked, and stared at it, he knew somewhere in those walls his lovers was working hard. Working hard to give them the life they d always wanted together, the life they wanted to create together. He looked down, such a failure he was, now, he couldn t even give his lover the support he needed.

He turned and started off back home again he felt the first drops of rain on his shoulders, but made no motion to open his umbrella which was clutched in his arms. He walked on, soon the pavement slipped into dirt, as he walked his way back to their little house. It wasn t much, but it was their dream and their reality, he stared at it in silence. For a brief eternity, he was immobilized, unable to step foot towards his own home. Life was almost too cruel, he felt the rain rush down on him suddenly, and that s when the tears came full force. He cried, his eyes blurred with the tears and rain as the house in front of him seemed to fade. He cried but no sounds came from his lips as he bowed his head in the pouring rain.

The feeling in his chest was heavy, deafening, he gripped his belongings as if they were the only thing that could save him. He felt his shoulders shake as he cried his worth in pain and frustration, after a time the tears stopped, too exhausted to cry another tear. He panted gently, the rain had chilled him right to the bone, as he slipped inside his home and sat his wet belongs down, accompanied by his wet clothing and shoes.

He slipped into the house naked sitting down on the stool in the bathroom as he washed, and before long slipped into a hot bath. The water was comforting, like a blanket easing away the grit of the day, both physically and spiritually. He sighed out and leaned his head on the rim as he stared at the ceiling, his mind blank now as he rested himself. It didn t take him long before he found himself in bed, so drained he could barely think to pull the covers over him. He slipped his eyes closed and without realizing it, dozed off to sleep.

Shinichi blinked at Heiji who was home much earlier than he d ever been, he sat down, the belongings at the door told the tale loud and clear. He stroked Heiji s hair, he could tell his lover had been crying, it pained him to know that Heiji went through it all alone. He moved kissing that dark colored forehead softly as Heiji shifted gently mumbling softly in his sleep. Shinichi sat there watching over Heiji, neglecting the work he d drug home with him. He wanted to be there when Heiji awoke, and tell him it was okay, that they d be just fine.

It wasn t long before those eyes fluttered open, exhausted and hot from crying so hard he blinked at Shinichi and paled some. Shinichi reached and cupped Heiji s face in his hands and kissed him tenderly,

"It's okay, everything will be fine." Shinichi told him softly relieving Heiji of the burden of telling him all the gruesome details.

"No one said this would be easy, right?" Shinichi offered gently.

"But no one said it d be this hard" Heiji whispered softly taking Shinichi s hands in his holding them firmly.

Shinichi felt his heart relax, the heat from those firm hands put all his worries and anxieties to rest suddenly. He smiled at Heiji softly, Heiji found comfort in that warm all knowing smile, he knew him and Shinichi would be just fine now. He could tell it as he felt Shinichi s pulse in his hands, he could feel it, their hearts, heat and mind linked together.

Shinichi pulled Heiji s arms around him and sighed out gently We re just the outlaws of love, we fight for justice so often...we deserve to be rebels just a little he teased softly.

Heiji chuckled I d go anywhere, so long as it was with you he told his beloved as he held Shinichi against him and closed his eyes.

All the worries and fears he had earlier, washed away by the love and support Shinichi gave him so unconditionally. Their bills would be fine until he found another job, so long as they had one another, money...the judgement of others...none of it mattered anymore. This was their own personal paradise, filled with all the acceptance they could ever want or ask for, nothing else was needed.


End file.
